"Insanity is repeating the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."as
As I head dive into the vast array of spikes ahead of me, dying instantly for what feels like the hundredth time, I am reminded of the above quote.
Go, again. Dead. Again. Dead. Again. OH! OOHHHHH!! HOLY SHIT! I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU COULD DO THAT! I'M GONNA GE... Dead.
Right. Pause. Take a deep breath. Flex the hands. And... that's it, that's IT, just a little further, just - got to get - to the bottomofthislittlebitshitshitshitnonoYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
Right, from here on in, it's plain sailing. Easy. All I need to do is jump - up - this - wall, and... Dead. Fuck.
This, my friends, is the world of Super Meat Boy.
There are all sorts of video games. There's the first person shooter. The RPG. The racing game. The strategy-based, the point-and-click, turn-based. On, and on it goes. For anyone that has ever played a game that involves manoeuvring an object or character around a landscape of some description, you will no doubt recognise the above feeling of being on the edge of sanity.
It starts off calmly enough. The learning curves on these games are designed to help you become accustomed to the controls, the sensitivity of response to different keystrokes (who knew video gaming could be so racy), and the different elements of the world you're moving around. You feel comfortable. You know what you're doing. You're the master of this. The pixels glide around the screen, bending to your every will, as if through telekinesis.
And then, before you know it, you're mashing frantically at the keyboard or the controller (depending on your platform of choice), swearing, wondering where it all went so wrong, dying every couple of seconds, any semblance of control a mere memory, left frolicking back in the earlier levels where everything was rainbows, fluffy clouds, and rabbits.
I was first introduced to Super Meat Boy while watching the documentary Indie Game. And you, out there, who so calmly suggested we watch it on a nice, quiet night in. I blame you for my current predicament.
Indie Game is a great documentary, and I heartily recommend it (it's on Netflix). As the developer behind current mobile gaming trend Flappy Bird threatens to remove his game from the app market, this documentary provides a painfully intimate peek into the world of those who create the independent games we play.
But what possessed me to think, after watching footage such as that below, that this was a game I wanted to master? (Hit 'Play' then click into anywhere in the middle of the video timeline.)
Just to give you some sense of scale, I am currently stuck on the level that comes in at 3 minutes 10. I've had the game since New Year's Eve (2013). Whoever has recorded the game play in the above video has made it look ridiculously easy. My own game play is far closer to these boys' attempts below. (Again, hit 'Play', click into anywhere in the middle.)
And yet, despite the Narcotics Anonymous quote, this isn't quite "insanity". It's close. Infuriatingly close. But there are a few little elements that, technically at least, save me.
While it feels like I'm repeating the same mistakes over, and over, and over again, I'm not. Through trial and error, working out how far you can push the character (and how far you cannot), you incrementally build up a bank of knowledge around how to complete the level. It may feel like you're playing in a totally unhinged way. But every fresh attempt carries with it the lessons from the cumulative failures of the past. And this is where the satisfaction comes from that drives you forward to continue. While you play, you are constantly improving, constantly learning. The feedback loop is instantaneous. The 'fix' is within reach, and is totally within your hands. These are things that we don't often get to experience in 'real life'.
So, manically but uncertainly slowly but surely, you finally navigate the various obstacles. By hook, crook, or pure gut instinct combined with that cumulative knowledge, you get to wherever it is you've been aiming for. In the case of Super Meat Boy, it's that most enduring of tropes, the damsel in distress. You are safe, Bandage Girl! you think to yourself, with a smug, self-satisfied inward grin, before she gets whisked away to the next level by a foetus in a jar, who happens to have also achieved a PhD.
It's the same in a lot of other games. Most allow you to learn by trial and error, by regenerating characters that are inevitably going to die as a result of your painfully rookie attempts to lead them through the Dantesque worlds created for them. It's infuriating. It's heartbreaking. It's a black hole of time. It's fantastic.
Apart from XCOM. Where you need to become 'Save Scum' if you don't want to suffer the heart-wrenching experience of losing your most-lovingly trained and crafted characters to the 'Memorial Wall'. Goddamn you, XCOM.
I could pontificate on the benefits of gaming, such as how a well-designed game can provide a sandbox for exploring ethics, risk-taking, societal issues, an environment for real-life training. I could mourn a lack of well-rounded female characters within many of these games; how games designers often seem to be focused on appealing to a narrow demographic of a particular type of male gamer, instead of acknowledging that there are other types of gamers;* and the debate surrounding the way that women are treated within the gaming industry.**
But, screw it. The love of Super Meat Boy's life - Bandage Girl - isn't going to save herself from Dr. Fetus. If you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to killing myself over and over and over again, staving off insanity by just... trying... to make it past... this... rotating metal... Fuck.
* One of the reasons I loved being introduced to Fallout: New Vegas was that it lets you craft the type of character you play with, meaning you can play as a totally bad-ass woman of your own making. You can choose your sex, then decide to what extent you're brainy, lucky, charismatic, got the gift of gab, strength, and so on. And there's a great supporting cast, both male and female, with a whole spectrum of characters for both sexes. Take note, GTA ;-)
** A few articles / resources of interest if you are interested in this sort of thing:
Exploration of female tropes
A look at the evolving depiction of lead men;
A review of GTA V by a female reviewer and the video response created by her colleague to a lot of male fury to her review;
'What it's like to be a woman making video games'.
* One of the reasons I loved being introduced to Fallout: New Vegas was that it lets you craft the type of character you play with, meaning you can play as a totally bad-ass woman of your own making. You can choose your sex, then decide to what extent you're brainy, lucky, charismatic, got the gift of gab, strength, and so on. And there's a great supporting cast, both male and female, with a whole spectrum of characters for both sexes. Take note, GTA ;-)
** A few articles / resources of interest if you are interested in this sort of thing:
Exploration of female tropes
A look at the evolving depiction of lead men;
A review of GTA V by a female reviewer and the video response created by her colleague to a lot of male fury to her review;
'What it's like to be a woman making video games'.
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