It's probably time to go to your happy place

Going for what should have been a leisurely stroll along the south of the River yesterday, I found myself cursing the cold, my refusal to make allowances for London's post-apocalyptic climate by dressing in suitable clothing, the process of evolution that had led me to become self-aware enough to ponder my predicament, and the fact I appeared to be developing frostbite in areas of my body I wasn't aware existed.

It is easy in times such as this to dwell on those things that feed our misery. The seemingly never-ending snow dome that has clamped itself over London (and, of course, Britain). The fact that the cost of living seems to have suddenly become incredibly high. The unlikelihood of me being in a position where I own or am least paying off some sort of property within the next few years. The increase in reports and/or incidents of violence towards women around the world. The violence and misery that our fellow humans continue to inflict on each other in the name of various institutions, values and beliefs. Arsenal's profound ability to inflict despair on its supporters. A growing number of homeless people living in a different world at the foot of the modern office I work in. My ability to sandwich Arsenal between two development issues.

But, whilst attempting to create a duveted cocoon at an ungodly hour, shivering and snivelling and feeling sorry for myself and for the world but mainly for myself, I was reminded of my post from roughly this time last year, which remains the most viewed and commented-on post from this blog. It's the post entitled A pause to reflect and wax lyrical, in which I ruminated on how a part of l'art de vivre is surely recognising and reveling in the smaller things that bring us little bursts of joy and make us pause in appreciation of them.

So, for this post, written during a bout of (wo)man flu-ridden insomnia, I share nothing more than an updated version of my list of things that bring uncomplicated joy, a talisman against the cold, in the hope that it'll help me remind myself that this too shall pass and hopefully inspire you, dear reader, if you find yourself in a place where you are in need of some inspiration.

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Wearing my nose-ring. The way that the use of triplets in a piece of music manages to satisfyingly squeeze three notes in the space of two. Playing the piano with no audience but myself. Turning your face skyward and closing your eyes to feel the sunshine whilst walking. The way that sunbeams find their way through clouds and reach downwards, seeing clouds hanging so low in the sky it feels as though you could reach out and touch them, the sound of the wind finding its way through gaps so small you didn't know they existed. Always, mini daffodils. Being in awe of the creative talents of my closest friends and family. Finding out that someone has read something of mine and been moved or inspired. Watching my 88-year-old grandfather and 3-and-a-half-year-old second cousin dance to Run DMC's Tricky (yes, the same second cousin that featured in this blog's first ever post). Watching my 3-and-a-half-year-old second cousin playing with her 88-year-old great grandfather in a way I must have when I was her age, seeing my brothers play irreverently with our two second cousins, watching the younger of the two discover the world around her with a twinkle in her eye. The feeling of having an idea spark in your mind after reading something new. The feeling that the idea was there all along, waiting to be uncovered. Cracking the spine of a new book, writing perfectly on the second page of a notebook, book cover art. Sitting in a coffee house with nought more than a book, your music, and the feeling of space and time within you as the surrounding world speeds up. Spending a Sunday tucked in your room with nought more than a book, your music, and the feeling that the outside world and the cold are far away. Using words such as "nought" or "betwixt". Strolling as those around you rush. The sudden lifting of self-consciousness to be left with who you truly are at your core. Finding out that insane things like chess boxing and the live reenactment of films exist. Seeing a city you thought you knew through different eyes. Discovering things and places with someone you care about for company. Remembering and playing video games from your younger years. All those small, insignificant yet significant things that make you breathe a little deeper and smile a little smile to yourself.

A pause to reflect and wax lyrical

A little navel-gazing never hurt anyone (unless done whilst driving at high speeds), so I figure it's about time I actually wrote a little bit on what this blog is all about. Mentally prepare yourself for some seriously philosophical musing.

My first post aside — I still twitch everytime the toddler reaches for the music player —  I've thus far waxed lyrical on: the serendipity that can ensue when you take your headphones out; those of us that have a fetish for stationery; and, of course, advocated abusing your books.

The name of this blog, L'art de Vivre, wasn't chosen because I enjoy throwing around the odd French phrase to try and make myself sound cultured and worldly, a la Del Boy or various others (see what I did there, surreptitiously throwing in a sweet little "a la" in the hope no-one would notice?). And if the occasion does call for use of a non-English phrase, I hope and I pray that I resist the temptation to attempt to say it in its proper accent, thus trying to be respectful of the language yet somehow unintentionally achieving a mild form of racism ('l'esprit de l'escalier' is a particularly beautiful phrase, although I've not yet had the guts to try to use it).
Instead I chose L'art de Vivre because the concept of the 'the art of living' is one that truly struck a chord with me. All joking aside, surely there's enough that's serious and depressing in this world and in our daily lives without not stopping to truly enjoy and recognise the things that make us happy every now and again. And then giving ourselves the permission to actually enjoy them. So this is what I'm trying to get at with my monologues on fountain pens, paperbacks and talking to strangers in coffee shops. These are things that I, and others that I know, get enjoyment out of but don't necessarily always acknowledge that we do so.

I first stumbled across the phrase l'art de vivre in a post about detaching yourself from your work last year:

A French colleague once explained l'art de vivre (the art of living) to me. Enjoying small things on a daily basis — such as good bread, a favourite café, lovely flowers, using a nice pen, a brisk walk home, reading a book to your child, dinner with your partner, an hour to yourself with a glass of wine...

And just reading that little snippet, something inside me sparked in the way it does when you suddenly hear a new idea that subtly changes the way you look at the world, that shifts something fundamental within you. The other two phrases I referred to in my first post were: la dolce vita, which I came across in the book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (which, for the record, I didn't particularly enjoy) and means the good life, a life full of pleasure and indulgence; and a flâneur, which rather beautifully refers to the activity of walking the streets of a city in order to experience it, and is a notion I learned of in my undergraduate History degree. This triumvirate of concepts — enjoying the small things in life; living a life of pleasure; and truly experiencing a city by wandering aimlessly through its streets — have stayed with me. Funnily enough, on hearing them they gave me a feeling of joy that I'm trying to get across here. And so when it came to thinking through what I resolved to do in 2012, living my life more by these three little philosophies seemed as good a way to go as any.

I've always enjoyed the 'small things' and joked about the fact that I'm easily pleased by simple pleasures. It's when you suddenly find yourself smiling at something in the moment: an experience, an emotion, something you've heard or something you've seen. It comes out of the blue, and it's the recognition that you unexpectedly feel a little lighter on your feet, have taken a deep breath at the pleasure of it, are smiling to yourself, and for a few seconds that you were completely immersed in the experience, all other thoughts let go of. I never thought much of it but, actually, aren't these the little moments that keep us sane, keep us from getting completely caught up in the various stresses of daily life? That — dare I suggest it — make us happy?

I'm not necessarily advocating living the sort of hedonistic life that Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray himself would have blushed at; we all have our own moral compasses, and they guide what we choose to do and the way we are with the people around us. As long as you're not harming others, I reckon live and let live. And I'm not naiive enough to think that all the world's ills would be cured if only we all allowed ourselves a two-hour bath on the odd occasion. I'm also painfully aware that this comes across as a particularly privileged way of looking at the world. But one of the things that struck me when reading Gregory David Roberts' Shantaram was the unshakeable happiness of Prabu, Roberts' happy-go-lucky guide to life in Mumbai, despite living in one of India's notorious slums. Again, I'm not romantacising the harsh realities of life. I'm simply saying that whatever our circumstances, whatever our bank balances, whether we live in a remote village or a bustling city, surely there can be no harm in pausing to recognise the happiness a piece of bread dipped in oil can bring us, or when the sun shines closing our eyes and turning our faces to the sky, or if it's raining then fleetingly enjoying the feel of that before we run for cover?

One of my all-time favourite books, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, was given to me as a present by my cousin and is an all-time favourite precisely because it reminds us what it is to see the world through the eyes of a child. As one of my brother's observed on Twitter when the snow hit London earlier this year:

The moment #snow no longer instils a sense of giddy joy in you is the moment you become a legitimate adult #whoopforfrozenwaterintheair

He's 23 years old. I think we run the risk of losing this sense of wonder as soon as we refuse to recognise what the small things are that bring us a few seconds of joy before we resume our daily grind, whatever form that may take — both the few seconds of joy and the daily grind.

As I was mulling over what I wanted to write in this post last week, I stumbled across an article by Robert Crampton entitled Beta male: a few of my favourite things (I may as well be honest seeing as we're talking about small joys - I was flipping through The Times Magazine on the loo, as I'd left my iPhone elsewhere. Admit it. We all do it). This is basically a list of things that make Crampton happy. At first I was a little peeved, as he's basically done what I'm doing in this blog and most likely gotten paid for it, albeit my ramblings are a lot less succinct and I'm not a recognised journalist, or a journalist at all for that matter. Even more blasphemously he finishes off the article with what will hopefully be a familiar sentiment by now, saying that these are all unimportant things that he enjoys but that it's the small things that matter, particularly as you get older. The heathen! The thief! Then to make matters even worse, my very own 'beta male' friend said yesterday, totally unprompted and without influence from me or Crompton, his next post is going to be on the things that make him happy. Is there no end to the intellectual thievery!

Seriously though, both those encounters actually made me feel that warmness when you've suddenly recognised a kindred spirit. That someone else looks at the world, at least partly, in a similar way to you and isn't afraid to go out and say what it is that makes them happy.

So that's my tome for this week over, normal service shall now resume with what will most likely be a post on photography once I sit down to write it.

In the meantime, here's my own quick list of a small number of things that bring me uncomplicated joy, just off the top of my head:

The mini daffodils that pop up in the most unlikely of places this time of year. The smell and feel of clean sheets on a bed. A clever turn of phrase, linking old ideas together in new ways to make new ideas, surreal banter between friends that goes off on tangents. Seeing strangers talk to each other or help each other in a way that respects that we're all human as opposed to asking them to "please move down the carriage", or simply brushing past each other. The way that the girlfriend of one of my brothers enters some weird and wonderful place of childlike joy when she's overtired, coming up with all sorts of fantastic ideas and phrases. The heart-breaking comfort of holding a baby or a toddler, or seeing the look of mischievous joy on the faces of children let loose on the wary public. The joy of handing back said baby or toddler or knowing that those children high on sugar running around the cafe aren't mine. The witty phrases and observations my mother comes out with, watching my grandmother knit cardigans and hats for her two great granddaughters, the crude jokes my grandfather makes, the crude jokes my father makes. Overhearing my brother practice the guitar in another room, catching my other brother's eye in recognition of an unspoken shared thought. Crossing over Tower Bridge after work with the right song playing in my ears. The feeling of doing precisely whatever it is that I want to be doing and the knowledge that no-one I know is actually aware of where I am and that at that moment I have no-one to answer to. Spending time away from the world totally immersed in a book. Summer evenings on the porch with my best friend and a bottle (or two) of wine and Haribo Tangfastics. The suddenness of realising we've both just cackled together in exactly the same way at a funny joke or idea. Arsenal playing their beautiful football. Thierry Henry.

... I'd better stop as this is becoming more than a little self-indulgent. If I were to say to you, "Tell me something that brings you pure joy, tell me right now. Go!" what's the first thing that comes to you? What are the many things that come to you? (Steady now). There's an unassuming comment box below if the mood grabs you to write them down.